


I've Lost My Place and She's to Blame

by FairyRose



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, First Time, Loss of Virginity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-09-06
Packaged: 2018-01-04 07:09:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1078049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyRose/pseuds/FairyRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When an old friend of Blaine's comes back to Lima with a problem he finds himself in a situation he never thought he'd ever find himself in and loving every second of it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All right all. This story is completely unbetad so all mistakes are my own. Also, this story is about Blaine experimenting with his bisexual tendencies so it will contain graphic depictions of a canon gay character in sexual situations with a woman. It also contains non-graphic mentions of rape/non-con and hate crime violence. If any of these things are triggers for you please don't read. I promise I won't be offended.  
> This is my first story of this length, I was trying to complete it before I posted it. I wanted to insure that I didn't leave my audience hanging. I hate it when I get into a story and then the author abandons it. However, I'm finding it hard to motivate myself to finish without a deadline so I'm hoping that putting myself on one here will motivate me. Please, if I fail to stick to my self imposed once a week posting schedule, please feel free to badger me relentlessly to update. I will post a new chapter every Tuesday.  
> I admit I know very little about the treatment and recovery of rape victims so if I offend anyone with my lack of knowledge please know that I am very sorry and offense was not my intention.  
>  The title of this story is taken from Darren's faboo song "Sami".

     They'd been doing this for a while now. Curling up on Blaine's bed after their parents had gone to bed. Gentle kisses would lead to caresses. Warm hands stroking even warmer skin. Eventually those lazy caresses would lead to deliberate strokes to sensitive skin and mouths sucking, pulling wild climaxes from each other with ease.

  
      Now here they were, basking in the afterglow, minds a buzz with lingering pleasure. Only one boundary left uncrossed. One act left to try. No matter what they did, no matter how many times he'd pulled back at her request. She just couldn’t get past the fear of intercourse.

  
      Granted, her first experience with it had been forced and violent, she had begged them to stop, cried out in pain as they laughed, and forced themselves into her with more violence.

  
      Blaine understood her fear. Understood why she was reluctant. But surely after all they'd done together so far, surely she trusted him. She had to know he wasn't like those boys, he'd never hurt her like that. And he was getting desperate. They'd progressed so far. Her hands had lost their nervous tremble as she stroked him. She had even come to enjoy the rush of power when she took him in her mouth. She enjoyed his mouth on her and his fingers moving inside her moist heat. Now, though, he wanted to feel her around him, wanted to bury himself deeply in her.

  
      He knew they'd get there eventually and that he'd have to be careful, he didn't want to frighten her with his passion.

  
      That had been a surprise itself. How much he wanted her. Right from that first kiss. He'd only ever known that kind of desire with Kurt so was a surprise but not an unwelcome one. He'd felt....something, for girls before. He'd liked kissing Rachel, though he rationalized that away as being alcoholically induced, seeing as their date had been fun but not particularly moving then the kiss at the Lima Bean had been...well... it had done nothing for him. Then there had been that moment he'd shared with Tina at the Sadie Hawkins dance. If Sam hadn't interrupted them, he's absolutely certain he would have kissed her. He would have enjoyed it too, he was sure. Tina was a bright, shiny light in his life these days, he honestly wasn't sure if how he would have gotten through the last few months without her and Sam. Tina inspired him, her joy and enthusiasm for life never ceased to move him. He loved her, kissing people that he loved was awesome. He couldn't imagine being with Tina like this though. The Asian girl was beautiful, and kind, and warm, and smart; she inspired his hopes and joys but not his passion.

  
      So he wasn't a gold star gay after all, he accepted that. He was bi-sexual, he just favored men. But, Charlie, oh god, sometimes just thinking about her made it hard to walk. She inspired more passion in him than anyone ever had before, not even Kurt.

     That's the only thing that hurt in all of this, that this was all so much better with Charlie than it ever was with Kurt. He wasn't sure what that said about his relationship with the older boy, but he tried not to think about it too much.

  
      Charlie's breathing had evened out as she dropped off into a sated sleep. Their current personal crisis momentarily off her mind. He had a solution. It was a bit drastic, and only borderline legal, but it would work. Now he just had to get Charlie to agree. He huffed a laugh at that thought. He'd already convinced her to experiment with sex with him. His solution was life-changing, but maybe not as scary for her as sex, but he could be wrong. He'd need to get Sam, and possibly Tina, on board as well. He didn't think that would be to hard. Sam was a romantic and Tina would see the practicality of the arrangement.

  
      He'd talk to Charlie when she woke up. The last few days had been hard, she could use the sleep. Besides, orgasms didn't do much for his debate skills anyway. He'd need all of his cognitive abilities to convince Charlie to go with his plan.

  
      She rolled over and scowled at him. "Stop thinking so loud. Shouldn't you be passed out about now, anyway."


	2. Chapter 2

     It had started a few days after she had come back. She'd come to his window in the middle of the night, just like she used to all those years ago. She was crying, the nightmares apparently having gotten to be more than she could handle on her own.

     He'd pulled her into his arms and whispered soothing words into her hair as she cried herself out. When he asked her why she had taken such a risk as to come to him. She had looked up at him with such sorrow and despair in her eyes as if she'd completely given up.

  
      "I'm so tired, Blaine. Tired of being afraid. I just got broken up with because of it."

     "Wait. What? Holden broke up with you? Why?"

  
      "We were chatting online and he let it slip that he had started dating Olivia Warren. He said it was because she isn't afraid to let him touch her." She started to weep again.

  
     "Shhh. Charlie, it's alright. Someday you'll feel safe enough with a man to share yourself with him like that."

  
      "I just want to stop being afraid, Blaine. I try, I really do, but the only man I actually feel safe with is you. I want to be with someone like that, but every time I so much as kiss someone, I get horrible flashbacks."

  
      "I know, Charlie. I promise not all men are like those monsters and they'll spend a long time in prison for what they did."

  
      They settled into silence then, Blaine holding her. After a few moments Charlie spoke, so softly Blaine almost didn't hear.

  
      "What's it like? Making love with someone?

  
      "Amazing." He answered without hesitation. "Not just the physical but the emotional aspect to. For the most part, whenever I was with Kurt, I never felt more loved, more cherished than when we were making love."

  
      "For the most part?" She looked up at him quizzically.

  
      "The last time. At Mr. Shue's almost wedding. I thought I was ok with it at first, but afterward, I just felt used. The love wasn't there any more."

  
      "And what about that Eli guy?"

  
      "Horrible and kinda awesome at the same time. The actual sex was awesome but the aftermath was horrible. I knew that what I'd done was wrong."

  
      When it seemed Charlie had asked all the questions she was going to Blaine began to drift off. Another question was then asked.

  
      "But if you felt like the love was gone with Kurt, why did you propose to him?" She released an embarrassed gasp. "Oh, god. Never mind, forget I asked that. It's none of my business anyway."

  
      "No, it's OK. If I can't talk about this with my best friend who can I talk about it with." He took a deep breath. The answer was a painful one. " Cheating is one of the worst things a person can do in a relationship. I felt so bad about what I had done, cheating, I wasn't that guy, I couldn't bear the thought that the relationship was over for that reason. We hadn't been good for a while, me and Kurt. I knew it but I stubbornly held on. I thought that if Kurt accepted my proposal it meant he'd forgiven me and then I could stop feeling so guilty. Not the best foundation for a marriage. I don't know if he's forgiven me yet but I can honestly say that with the help of friends like Sam and Tina I was finally able to forgive myself. And now I can honestly say I've never been so glad to be rejected in my life."

  
      "Do you still love him?"

  
      "I'll always love him. He was my first in so many things. I'll always carry that love with me but I'm not in love with him any more and am glad he's happy in with his new boyfriend. I hope that we can one day be friends again, we were friends before we were boyfriends, but I don't know if he'll ever want me back in his life."

  
      After contemplating his response for a few moments she spoke. "Thank you for being so honest with me, Blaine. But I should go. I don't want either of us to get into trouble. "

  
      He tightened his arms around her as she made to pull away. "Stay. If you feel safe here, stay. Maybe the nightmares will stay away."

  
      "But what if your parents catch us like this?'

  
      "Then we'll tell them the truth. They won't be mad, we're not doing anything wrong."

  
      "But my dad..."

  
      "I usually run early in the morning so my alarm will wake us in enough time to get you home before you're missed. I'll probably skip the run though."

  
      He smirked at the blond girl in his arms as she kissed his cheek and settled back into his arms. "Good-night." Was all she actually said before they both finally drifted off.


	3. Chapter 3

     Blaine awoke a few moments before his alarm went off the next morning. His mind awash with confused and highly arousing images of soft, warm skin. He was used to this now. He hadn't been with anyone since his Valentines Day hook-up with Kurt and his body hadn't quite come to terms with that. Still half asleep he moved closer to the warm body next to him. Lazily rubbing his morning erection against his bed mate. The alarm buzzed and a muffled grumble to his left reminded him who he was actually sharing his bed with. Blaine jerked himself away from Charlie as he realized exactly what it was he was doing. Berating himself, _Well done, Anderson. Your best friend comes to you for comfort because she was having nightmares of men assaulting her and here you are rutting up against her as if that were her purpose in the world. Get a hold of yourself. She deserves better than that. You're better than that._

  
      "Good morning," she mumbled rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Her English accent more pronounced from having just woken. She dropped her head back into the pillow and whined. "I so don't want to move. It's so warm and comfy here. I haven't slept that soundly in years. Not one bad dream." She rolled away from Blaine to look up at him and noticed his shell shocked expression. "Blaine, are you alright?"

  
      He shook himself out of his chastising thoughts. "Of course, I just kinda forgot that you were here is all. I'm not really used to waking up with someone else in my bed. But I'm glad you slept well, I did too."

  
      "Good. I'm glad I didn't put you out."

  
      "Of course not." His arousal had faded with his wash of guilt so he pulled her back into his arms. "You're welcome anytime."

  
      "Thank you so much, Blaine" She sniffed back tears. "Really. I just needed to not be alone. You have no idea how good it feels to be around someone who understands without me having to explain."

  
      He pulled her tighter into his arms. "You never have to explain anything to me, Charlie. You said you feel safe here, so anytime you need a place to feel safe, I'm here, As far as I'm concerned, you can share my bed every night."

  
      She snuggled into him contentedly, burying her fingers in his loose curls. "Thank you. That means so much to me." She squeezed him briefly before pulling away. "I should go, though. If my dad father finds out I'm gone..."

  
      "I know. I don't want you to get into trouble."

  
      After one more hug she extracted herself from the bed and moved to the window she'd come in through. She turned back and smiled at him before she let herself out.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, since chapter three was so short and it's Christmas Eve I'm gomma go ahead and give you a second chapter today. Happy Holidays all.

**Later that day, at school.**

     Blaine was distracted as he made his way through the halls of McKinley. Today had been Charlie's first day of classes here. They both had past private school education so they were in the advanced placement classes here, so they had spent most of the day together. They had lunch with the other glee clubbers and Charlie had been welcomed by everyone. He was especially pleased that Tina and Charlie seemed to get along well, chatting, giggling, and rolling their eyes at Sam's awful impressions. For his part Sam responded to Charlie the way he did to most girls, by flirting. Now was Blaine's free period and Charlie was in Spanish class. Shortly he would be in the choir room listening to his friend audition. The English girl had an amazing voice, possibly even better than Rachel's. She had led her old school to their own championships three years running and they had been in choir together at their old school. He knew she'd be a welcome addition to The New Directions, even if they only had a few months until Nationals.

  
      Blaine was currently ruminating on the dream that had woken him this morning. Thinking back, he realized that it wasn't the first time he'd had that particular dream. Even while he was still with Kurt, occasionally he'd have dreams of soft curves instead of flat planes. Soft breasts instead of toned chests. So lost was he in his thoughts that he didn't notice the other person who stepped into the hall in front of him.

  
      " Ooof. Hey watch where you're going, Blaine. Are you alright?"

  
      "Sorry Mr. Shue." Rubbing his nose where it had impacted his teacher's arm. "I'm fine. I guess I'm a little distracted this afternoon. Are you OK?"

  
       "Yeah, I'm fine. Must be some pretty deep thoughts. You're not usually so absent minded."

  
      "Just trying to sort some stuff out. I'll be more careful." He moved to walk away.

  
      "Blaine, is there anything I can do. Sometimes talking to someone can help sort things out."

  
      He was going to give the standard 'No thank you', when he stopped himself. His parents were supportive, but coming to terms with his sexuality had been hard on them. If he was going to question everything he thought he knew about himself, he wanted to be certain before he sprung it on them. At least they liked Charlie. He did need someone to talk to. Going through this alone the first time had been hard enough, maybe talking to someone might make things easier this time.

  
      "Actually, that might be nice. Can we maybe go to your office?"

  
      "Sure."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year all. I hope that 2014 is awesome for everyone.

      "Sit down, Blaine." Mr. Shue said as they entered his office.

     " I think I might be more comfortable pacing."

     "Alright."

     Blaine paced the floor of the small office for a few moments before dropping into the chair opposite his teacher. He looked up at him with confusion written clearly on his face. "Mr. Shue, do you believe that people can be bisexual?" He asked timidly. "It's just the last time I tried to have a conversation on the subject, Kurt kinda went a little nuts, made me feel kinda stupid for even questioning it."

     The teacher thought for a moment before answering. " I don't think it matters what I or any one else thinks, Blaine. When it's about you, I think the only thing that matters is what you think. Do you think you might be bisexual, Blaine?"

     "I'm not sure." He hesitated. "There's this girl, my best friend Charlie. I've known her for most of my life. She went away for a while and we kept in touch through email, now that she's back as a physical presence in my life, the way I'm feeling has me really, really confused."             

     "Charlie. The new transfer student?"

     He nodded and continued. "I'm not sure if I'm having these feelings because she's my best friend and I'm happy to have her back in my life and I want to protect her so she doesn't have to go away again, and she's always been there for me. Or am I attracted to her because I'm attracted to both guys and girls? Or maybe I am gay and just happen to be feeling attracted to a girl? I really don't know what I'm feeling, Mr. Shue."

     "Have you ever had feelings like this for any other girl?"

     "Maybe. The year before last, during an ill advised and highly drunken game of spin the bottle, I kissed Rachel. It felt...right. But the date we went on later was fun but, like, in a hanging out with a friend way. When she kissed me later, when we were both sober, I felt nothing. And earlier this year, at the Sadie Hawkins dance, I had a moment with Tina. I really wanted to kiss her, if Sam hadn't intrupted us, I would have. But Tina's a good friend also, so that might present the same problem." He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. "Oh, God, Mr. Shue. I really don't know what to do here."

     The older man came around his desk and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder as he sat down next to him. "Blaine, I cannot even begin to understand what you're going through. What I do know is that human sexuality is far more complex than most people acknowledge, and if youre feeling conflicted then you owe it to yourself to explore those feelings. Exparament, go out on dates with whomever you like."

     Blaine looked up at his teacher. "Exparament, you mean like, sleeping with girls."

     Mr. Shue smiled and shook his head. "As your teacher I can't advise that, but I'm not nieve enough to believe that you guys aren't already exparamenting with sex. Just don't slap a label on yourself. Lables don't set you free, all they do is put you in a box. I think that being bisexual is just another form of freedom. Freedom to find love in whitchever gender it comes in. Don't be afraid of your feelings, let them guide you where they will. You've already made a hugely difficult admission to yourself. Accepting that you're attracted to men can't be any more difficult than accepting that you're attracted to girls too."

     The younger man smiled at him. "Thanks for the advice Mr. Shue. This actually has helped." 

     "You can always talk to me, Blaine, about anything." The younger man rose and was at the door when the teacher spoke again. "Blaine. Just remember if you do decide to exparament, make sure the girl knows what's going on. It wouldn't be fair to her to lead her on only to let her down if you find you're not really attracted to her."

     "I will, Mr. Shue. And thanks."


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope the new year has been kind to you all so far. To those who have left kudos, my thanks. I would really like to know what y'all think please let me know.
> 
> OMG. I was going over this to change the format and I realized that, like, half the chapter was missing. It's been fixed now. I am sooo sorry. Some of you were probably very confused.

**The Next Afternoon**

  
      Sometimes Blaine thought he should just main line caffeine directly into an artery, especially after days like today. He figured wrestling with his confused feelings all day had worn him out. He'd spent most of the day and most of the night before thinking about his conversation with Mr. Shue. He hadn't slept well and he was sure he wouldn't have been able to tell you anything that had been discussed in any of his classes. Even glee was something of a blur. And now, Charlie was sitting across from him drinking her tea, she was so British, and he had no idea what she was saying.

     "Blaine? Blaine? Are you even listening to me?

      He snapped back to himself, and smiling at her sheepishly. "No. I'm sorry, Charlie. I kinda spaced out for a bit. I didn't sleep well last night, I guess I'm a bit more tired than I realized."

     "Oh, love, you should have told me. We could have gone straight home. I could have had tea there."

     "No. It's fine. I've just had some stuff on my mind the last few days that has me out of sorts."

     "Would you like to talk about it?

     "Yeah, actually, I would. But not here. Let's go to my place where we won't be interrupted."

     "Oh. Serious stuff then."

They left the coffee shop and Blaine drove them back to his home. The ride was a silent one, he contemplating what he was going to say and she admiring the scenery. When they arrived they saw that the Anderson's were out, again. The went quickly up to his room and shed their bookbags and outerware. They'd get around to homework sometime. Once shoes were removed they settled themselves side by side on the bed.  
    They lay togeather in comfortable silence before Charlie spoke. "You're not falling asleep on me are you?"  
    He stifled a yawn. "No, just trying to figure out how to start."  
    "Well, I always find it's best to start at the beginning.  
    "Thank you Glenda." She giggled. "I'm actually trying to figure out where the beginning is.  
    She rolled over to look at him. "Blaine, whatever it is you can tell me. It can't be all that bad. Can it?"  
    " What I have to say can and will change what we have and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. I Just got you back."  
    She reached out, turning his face toward her, and looked intently into his eyes. "Whatever you have to tell me, whatever it is. It will never change how I feel about you. You're my best friend."  
    "What I have to say... it will change things. I know it." He blinked back the tears he felt forming.  
    She pulled him against herself. His face resting in the crook of her neck. "Please, whatever it is, just tell me."  
    He pulled away from her and sat up and scrubbed his face with his palms. Taking a deep breath he looked down at her and took her hand."Charlie, I think I'm bisexual."  
    A warm smile broke across her face. "Oh that. Is that what's had you so distracted all day?"  
    "Oh that?" He repeted, staring at her in shock. "Oh that? What's that supposed to mean?"  
    Sitting up herself Charlie rushed to sooth him. "Oh, love, I'm not making fun, I promise. And I'm sure this is all quite confusing for you. It's just, we've told each other literally everything in our daily e-mails over thew last few years. Your drunken snog with that Rachel girl and your almost kiss with Tina earlier. I've kinda had my suspisions for a while now."  
    Blaine didn't think he'd ever been so shocked in his life. " You've had your suspicions? Why didn't you ever say anything?"  
    " It was none of my buisness. Who you're attracted to doesn't matter to me. It never has."  
    He flopped back down onto the bed both confused and relieved. She moved into his line of sight with a confused look of her own.  
    "Blaine, why were you so concerned that that confession would change things between us?"  
    "I was afraid you may not feeel safe with me anymore."  
    "Why wouldn't I...? Oh, because if you're attracted to girls I would be afraid that you might suddenly turn into one of those bastards that raped me." She laied down and cuddled up against him. "You'd never be like them. You'd never hurt me. You're better than that."  
    "There's more though, Charlie." he moved away from her enough to look her in the eyes and took a stedying breath. "Charlie, I kinda freaked out because I find myself very attracted to you, but I'm not sure why."  
    "You mean because you're not sure if you're attracted to me because  you miss being in a relationship and you and I already have the comfort of a good relationship or are you  attracted to me in the more common boy wants girl way."  
    "Yeah." He was relieved that she understood. Though he shouldn't have been suprised, she always did.  
    "So," she asked, all seriousness. "What do you propose we do to figure it out?"  
    He hesitated. He couldn't tell her what he really wanted. She's run away and never come back. But she also appricated honesty.  
    "Come on, don't hold out on me. It must be pretty awful if you don't want to tell me."  
    "Well, I do have an idea, but it's so insane I don't even think I should mention it."  
    She took a deep breath and sat up to look down at him. "Alright, let me have it."  
    He pulled her back into his arms. "This will be easier if I'm not looking at you."  
    "Gee, thanks."  
    "That's not what I ment. You said to me the other night that you felt safe with me and that you were tiard of being afraid. I have almost no romantic exprience with girls. Only the one date and two kisses. I was thinking that you and I could use each other to exparament with."  
    "I'm not sure what you mean."  
    "Charlie. I had a very erotic dream about you the other night and I'd like to explore that."  
    "You mean like...Have sex with each other." Her voice had an edge of panic to it. "Oh, Blaine, I don't know..."  
    He stroked her back to sooth her. "Yes, I do mean sex, but we take it slow.. remember I really don't know what I'm doing either. I'd never push any farther than you were willing to go and I'd always respect your no. We'd both  get something out of this though. I'll be able to explore that part of myself and you gain the ability to enjoy the physical side of love."  
    "Blaine, I trust you, implicitally, I do. I'm just not sure."  
    He looked into her eyes and saw the conflict there. "Let me help you not be afraid, Charlie. Sex, lovemaking, it's a beautiful thing. Sharing yourself with someone like that. Making that kind of connection. The joy at giving someone that kind of pleasure, I don't even have the words to explain it."  
    "I want to, I really do. And your idea makes sense but I just don't know."  
    He smiled gently at her. "I've put it out there. The choice is yours. I won't push and I won't mention it again. Just think about it, ok?"  
    They settled into an easy silence, wrapped in each others arms. After a while Blaine opened his mouth to say something about getting started on their homework but Charlie inturrupted him.  
    "If we were to do this, how would you propose we go about it?"  
    "Baby steps. Start with kissing and move on from there. You set the pace. We'd only do what you feel comfortable with when you feel comfortable with it. I want to be with you Charlie, but I'll never pressure you into anything you're not comfortable with."  
    He pulled her closer, his intent obvious. Starting the process of getting her comfortable with increased physicality. They'd been this close before, but never with such an intent. The blonde didn't protest or tense up so Blaine relaxed. The next step, if there was going to be one, was up to her.      
    Blaine was on the verge of sleep in the stillness when he felt her shift beside him. He opened his eyes when she reached up and began combing his curles loose with her fingers.He found himself staring up at her, into her blue-grey eyes. She was grinning.  
    "You shouldn't keep these under such tight control. They look better loose."  
    "Yeah, well, wild and unkempt isn't exactly the look I'm going for.  
    "I didn't say you shouldn't use any product, just maybe not so much. Also, it's not a crazy idea, just a scairy one."  
    He brought his hand up to run his own fingers through her blonde waves. "You are very beautiful, Charlie. Has anyone ever told you that?"  
    She broke eye contact and blushed as she looked away. She mastered her embarassment quickly and brought her gaze back to him. "Yes, but it was always when Holden was trying to  coax me into bed." Then she brought her lips to his. It was just a gentle, chaste brush of lips before she pulled away again.  
    That one brief moment of contact was enough to light a fire in Blaine's blood, he wanted so badly to pull her against himself and just plunder her mouth. She was blushing even deeper now.  
    "Please, don't be embarrassed. He's the one who should be embarrassed for trying to convince you to do something you weren't ready for. That was a nice kiss, I'd love to try it again."  
    "I...I don't really know what I'm doing here. I've never actually kissed a boy before. Would you teach me, please?"  
    "I'd love to," He smiled and pulled her down so she was lying across him. " You need to stop me, when it gets to be too much for you. The minute you say so we stop."  
    "Agreed."  
    He placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her in and pressed his lips to hers.Just firm pressure to start with then he scraped his teeth across her botttom lip before sucking it between his own. He could feel her breathing accelerating, he swiped his tongue across her lips hoping she would understand what he was asking.  
    She parted her lips slightly, just enough for him to slip his tongue between. He smirked at her suprised intake of breath when his tongue made contact with hers. He ran his hand around to the back of her head, his palm cradeling the base of her skull, holding her in place.  
    He gradually deepened the kiss, exploring her mouth. She whined softly as he pulled away and was gratified when her tougue chased his into his mouth.He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her more firmly against himself. Charlie shifted her body so that she was now straddling his thigh. One of her's resting softly against his groin.  
    Blaine pulled away from Charlie's mouth and began kissing down her throat and latching on to the join of her neck and shoulder. She pulled away from him after a few moments of that. He opened his mouth to ask if it was too much for her but the words died in his throat as she attached her lips to his neck. He moaned as the girl became adventerous and scraped her teeth over the spot she'd been sucking on. She moved to the other side and began gently rocking up against him.  
    He could feel himself begin to harden as her movements against him became more insistant. He let out a throaty moan when she pressed against him more firmly.  
    He ran his hands up her back under her shirt, reveling in the satiny warmth of her skin. He encountered the clasp of her bra and she suddenly froze.  
    "Charlie, are you alright?"  
    She dropped hr head to rest her forehead against his, she let out a sigh. " I'm so sorry, Blaine. I was fine, quite enjoying myself actually, but it just suddenly became too much."  
    He lifted her head so he could look into her eyes. "No, Charlie. I said we would let you set the pace. If it was too much then we stop."  
    She rolled off of him.  Her back to him she curled up tightly into herself. She spoke very softly, voice choked by tears. "It's so unfair. I can't even enjoy simple kissing without freaking out."  
    Blaine rolled over to wrap her in his arms. " Well, we were doing a little more than simple kissing. And you didn't 'freak out', Charlie. You stopped because you got scaird and that's ok." He took a deep breath. "Even if we never do anything else, that was amazing. I'd love to do it more but not if it makes you uncomfortable. I love you Charlie."  
    She relaxed and rolled over in his arms and looked up into his warm hazel eyes. "I love you to, Blaine. I want to do this. I do, I just...."  
    "I get it, Charlie." Laying a chaste kiss to her mouth. "We'll try again some other time. Maybe we should just get to our homework."  
    Smiling she returned his kiss. "Thanks."  



	7. Chapter 7

**A couple of days later.**

     "Oh, my God," Charlie looked up as Blaine approached her locker. " I honestly think that Coach Roz is trying to kill us." He sagged against the lockers like a puppet with his strings cut.

     She smiled at him sympathetically and patted his head. "Death by cheer practice, that's a new one."

     He looked up at her. When he was standing up straight the blond girl was an inch taller than him (stupid puberty)but slumped over as he was she was kind of looming. He smirked up at her. Mimicking her accent.

     "Don't be a smart ass, Miss Brandon. It doesn't become you."

     "Has anyone ever told you you're adorable when you're annoyed?" She stroked his cheek, he closed his eyes and sighed as he leaned into the caress. "Come home with me. I'll give you a massage."

     "Your place?" he was genuinely surprised. Charlie's parents really didn't like him, had actually forbidden her from seeing him all those years ago. They'd gone so far as to send her back to England to keep them apart. They'd kept in touch through email, and while he'll admit that it was easier to confide in her while he didn't have to see the look on her face while he talked so he had probably told her more than he ever would have if she had actually been around, it really wasn't the same as it had been. And it could never take the place of having your best friend's hand to hold while recovering from a frighting attack. But she probably felt the same way, after all, she'd been recovering from far worse injuries.

     She obviously understood what he was thinking. "My parents are in Cleveland this weekend, some function for my father's company. They won't be home until Sunday night."

     "You got out of an event where you dad could parade you in front of his associates sons, how'd you manage that?"

     "I appealed to his sense of duty and obligation by telling him I was working with a fellow glee clubber to get caught up. So I don't become a hindrance at nationals."  
Smiling at her duplicity he answered her earlier question. "Yes, I'll come home with you."

     "Good, and it's not completely untrue, we will get around to working on glee stuff, at some point."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here be smut. But just a little. Also there is brief mention of past violence and sexual assault in this chapter. I've gotten plenty of kudos and I appreciate them but I'd really love some comments to keep me motivated.

**Later, in Charlie's room**.

     Charlie's bed was ridiculously comfortable. He'd fallen into it almost as soon as they'd entered the room. She had disappeared into the bathroom to gather supplies, she said.

     "You still alive?" she asked as she reentered the room.

     "Still alive. Just falling in love with your bed."

     She giggled at him. "Alright Anderson, shirt off and on your belly."

     "Excuse me?" he opened his eyes to look up at her. She'd changed her clothes. The skirt and blouse she had worn to school was replaced with comfortably worn yoga pants and a tank top. Blond hair that she'd worn down across her shoulders was pulled sloppily up on her head, she'd even removed her make-up. The spike of desire that went through him at the sight of her surprised him and took his breath away.

     She was looking at him in confusion. "Are you alright? I need you to take off your shirt and lay on your belly so I can give you the massage I promised."

     He shook himself and grinned at her. "Yeah, sorry, I'm fine. I lost my train of thought for a moment. You look very pretty like that." She blushed at his compliment while he sat up and quickly pulled his shirt over his head and flopped down onto his stomach. "Let the massage begin."

     She climbed onto the bed and straddled his hips. She poured cool, spicy scented oil onto his skin. He hummed in contentment as her soft hands manipulated his sore muscles.

     They stayed like that for a while, her warm hands caressing his skin, occasionally digging into a persistent knot.

     Blaine suddenly became aware of exactly where Charlie's hips were as she leaned down to get leverage for a particularly stubborn knot, her privates brushed up against his butt. As his brain processed the reality of just how intimate their position was his tratiorous body began to respond. As she rocked against him, working the tension from his muscles, he began to rock his hips against her mattress, enjoying the friction. He let out a small moan.

     "That feels good Charlie, but I think you need to stop."

     "Did I do something wrong? I like touching you." The insecurity in her voice was heartbreaking.

     "No, you didn't do anything wrong. I like you touching me," he ducked his head in mild embarrassment. "Maybe too much. I really don't want to..ah..make that kind of mess on your comforter."

     She stilled against him and he mentally smacked himself. Here he was turning her innocent, generous act into something sexual. God, he hated being a teenage boy sometimes. "Sorry, Charlie. You really didn't need to know that."

     She let out a long breath and relaxed. "No, it's fine. I guess I didn't realize how intimate a position we were in until you said something."

     She climbed off him and sat on the side of the bed. "I'm sorry, Blaine. That can't be comfortable for you."

     He rolled onto his side and stroked her back. "I'm alright. The combination of embarrassment and guilt have the same effect as a bucket of cold water."

     She turned and looked at him quizzically. "Why would you be embarrassed or guilty. You didn't do anything wrong. From what I know about human biology, it's a normal reaction, nothing to be embarrassed about."

     He laid a kiss on her bare arm and ran his finger over the skin before he looked up at her.

     "Embarrassed at my lack of control and guilt because I made something so innocent as a massage into something sexual. I'm trying to be a gentleman here."

     She graced him with a smile and turned to face him. "You are a gentleman, Blaine. You didn't turn anything sexual. Your body reacted naturally to physical stimulation."

     "You're taking all of this very well."

     "The talking about it part I can handle, part of my therapy. It's the actual act that frightens me."

     "Talking about sex as part of therapy? How does that work?"

     She stroked his cheek. "Sort of like immersion therapy. Make us comfortable with what frightens us by surrounding ourselves with it. The first part of the therapy was learning about how the human body responds to physical stimulation. That way we wouldn't be frightened by how our bodies react in sexual situations."

     "Sounds logical. Did it work?"

     "Mostly. I understand how my body works so the sensations don't scare me, the actual act, scares the bejesus out of me. Consciously, I know that you wont hurt me, that not all men are monsters. But all my instincts tell me to run.

     Blaine saw the pain and frustration in her eyes and was struck by guilt that he thought he'd dealt with a long time ago. This time he let the tears fall freely. Rolling back onto his back he threw his arm over his eyes.

     "Charlie, I am so sorry you had to go through that. If I hadn't been so foolish to think that asking another boy to a dance wouldn't be a problem, those boys wouldn't have attacked us."

     She pulled his arm from his face, the look she gave him both compassionate and slightly angry. "No, Blaine Anderson. You listen to me. None of what happened that night is your fault. You had just as much right to go to that dance with the person you wanted as the rest of us. I had a date that night too, remember. If he hadn't been a jerk an abandoned me I wouldn't have even been with you and Daniel. If we had waited for Danny's mom outside the school instead of meeting her at the coffee shop they wouldn't have been able to isolate us the way they did." She took a deep breath. "Lots of factors lead to us being at that spot at that time. I was there by choice Blaine. I've never, ever blamed you, so please don't blame yourself. What those boys did to me had nothing to do with you, despite what my father says."

     He looked up at her, both of their eyes shining with tears. "I love you Charlie. So much."

     She leaned in and kissed him then. Sweet and gentle and so full of love. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her against himself and rolling them so they were facing each other. She pulled herself closer to him, her body flush against his. They kissed for a while hands stroking one another's backs.

     When they came up for air Charlie whined slightly. He grinned as he applied his lips to her throat. Sucking gently at her pulse point, he hummed softly. He sucked in a surprised breath when she took one of his hands and placed it on her breast. He rallied quickly though, cupping her through her shirt. She attached herself to his throat. He reflexively squeezed her breast when she scraped her teeth across his Adams apple.

     Panting, she pulled away. He whined at the loss of contact. "I want your hands on my skin Blaine."

     He moved the hand that was fondling her breast and moved it to her waist where her shirt had ridden up. He kissed her again as he moved his hand up to her breast under her shirt.

     That was new. Warm, soft skin, her nipples stiff against his palm. Experimentally, he pinched the nipple in his hand, she gasped and pulled away from his kiss.

     "Off. I want my shirt off, now. I want to feel your skin against mine."

     He was quick to respond, grasping the hem of her shirt and yanking it up with only a minimum amount of trouble. The movement required to remove her shirt left Charlie on her back and when he looked down at her again, now bare to the waist, he just stopped. The vision before him took his breath away. Even his thoughts were tongue tied.

     She looked up at him with uncertain eyes and reached up to run her fingers through his hair, then trailed them down his jaw. "Blaine? Blaine? Are you alright?"

     He released a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding and shook his head smiling at her ruefully. "Yeah. Sorry, I'm back." He finally looked back into her eyes and kissed the palm of her hand that was resting on his cheek. "You just kinda broke my brain for a bit. Remember, this," he gestured at her bare chest, "is all new to me, too. I mean, I've seen breasts in movies plenty of times, but wow, real ones are so much better."

     He lowered himself so they were laying flush against one another and nuzzled behind her ear. Charlie squirmed against him and giggled.

     "Your chest hair tickles but it also feels really nice like this."

     "Yeah, I like it too. You're squishier than I'm used to, but it's nice."

     "Squishier? she asked, slightly indignantly.

     "Sorry, that didn't come out right." He gathered his thoughts while nuzzling her throat. "Breasts are soft, like little pillows. Men's chests are firm, I like the squishy." He pulled his head up to grin cheekily at her.

     "You are such a brat sometimes."

     "But you love me anyway."

     Her face broke into the warmest, softest she'd ever given him. " Yes, I do."

     He brought his mouth back to hers. Tasting her lips and licking his way into her mouth with purpose. Slowly, he made his way down her body, kissing and nibbling his way over her skin, soft breathy moans escaping her.He felt himself becoming aroused again as he fondled her soft flesh.

     "God, Blaine, that feels good." He smiled against her skin as his lips found their way to her breast. She cried out in surprised pleasure as he sucked a nipple between his lips.

     He couldn't help rubbing his erection against her hip, desperate for friction. Moaning quietly under his breath.

     "Blaine..." she cried out when his mouth moved to her other breast. Thinking she wanted him to stop, he pulled away from her.

     "Too much?"

     "No, pretty awesome actually. I felt you rubbing yourself against me and moaning. I just kinda felt this surge of power all of a sudden." She looked him in the eye, her own filled with passion. "Please don't stop."

     He surged against her. Mouth attaching itself to her breast again as he pressed himself against her with more purpose.

     Her sighs and moans became louder when Blaine scrapped his teeth across her nipple. She wrapped her leg over his hip, rubbing herself against his thigh.

     He abandoned her breasts and held her more tightly against himself. "Charlie, I'm so close."

     He pressed his thigh more firmly against her. She cried out and her back arched as she fell apart under him. Feeling her orgasm against him sent him over the edge as well.

     They lay there, trembling in the aftermath and basking in the afterglow. "God. I don't think I've ever come so hard in my life." He looked up at her, raising his head from where it rested on her breast. He was alarmed to see tears in her eyes.

     "Charlie, what is it? God, I'm so sorry..."

     She looked down at him and cupped his cheek. "Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong."

     "But...you're crying...I thought I'd gone too far."

     "No, Blaine. That was quite possibly the most amazing thing I've ever felt. Far better then when I've done it for myself." She glanced away, an embarrassed blush on her cheeks. "Can we forget I said that?"

     He rolled to his side and pulled her against himself. He smiled and pulled her chin gently, forcing her to look at him. "Charlie, you don't have to be embarrassed, I do it too, it's perfectly normal. Also, it's always better with someone else. Please don't ever be embarrassed by your desires. Do you have any idea how beautiful you are right now. Feeling you go off set me off."

     She flushed at his compliments. Brushing his hair off his face. "You're amazing, Blaine. I don't think I've ever felt more loved in my life. Thank You."

     "Mmmm. My pleasure, and as much as I'm enjoying this moment. I really think I need to borrow your shower. Drying cum in your underwear is really uncomfortable."

     She giggled. "Damp knickers aren't so bad. It's all yours. Then we should probably start our homework."

     "Sounds like a plan." He jumped up and ran to the shower after laying a quick kiss to her cheek.


	9. Chaptre 9

**McKinley Auditorium- a few days later**

     "Dude, just calm down. You'll be amazing. Kurt and Rachel lived through it, I'm sure you will too.

     "That's just it, Sam. Rachel choked at her audition and Kurt didn't even get in at first. If they couldn't do it, how can I?"

     "Because you're better than both of them."

     "Sam's right, Blaine. You're amazing. You'll knock Mme. Tibidaux's socks off."

     Blaine took a deep breath and looked up at his friends. "Tina, Sam, thanks. I'm just so nervous I'm so sure I'm gonna blow it."

     "You'll be fine, dude. Just breathe."

     Blaine sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly. Squaring his shoulders, he brought his head up to look his friends in the eye.

     "Better?" Tina asked. He nodded. "Good. Sam and I will be sitting up in the back of the auditorium watching."

     "Wait a minute," Sam said. "Why isn't Charlie here?"

     "Her dad's home tonight. She had to go home right after school. I'll tell her all about it tomorrow."

     Tina wrapped him in her arms for a good luck hug, whispering a quiet, "Break a leg", in his ear. Sam pulled him into his own rib crushing hug.

     They walked out into the auditorium surprised to find Charlie engaged in conversation with Mme. Tibidaux.

     "...so since my father couldn't find a school to take me midterm, I came home to Ohio."

     "Well, I'm very glad you ended up somewhere your talents will be appreciated."

     "Thank you, Ma'am." Charlie noticed her friends quietly watching their exchange. "Oh, Mme. Tibidaux. This is Tina Cohen-Chang and Sam Evans. They're in New Directions with Blaine and myself."

     "Pleased to meet you both. And why are neither of you auditioning for me?" She looked over her glasses at them.

     Sam smiled shyly at her. "I've been applying to art schools. I'm a pretty good artist. I can sing well enough, but I'm no where near as good as Charlie or Blaine. I'm hoping to get into the Pratt Institute. Tina applied there too. We may not be going to the same school but we'll at least be in the same city."

     "And what will you be studying at Pratt Miss Cohen-Chang?"

     "Fashion and costume design. I've designed all of our competition costumes for the last couple of years. I've also done the costumes for the last two plays. I love performing but costume design is awesome, too, and in costume design I'll have more opportunities and still be able to work in theater."

     "Pratt is a fine school. I'm sure you'll both make excellent additions if you are accepted."

     With muttered thanks the three students headed to the back of the auditorium.  
Mme. Tibidaux took her seat in the middle of her row.

     "Blaine said you had to go home right after school." Sam said to Charlie.

     "I told my father that rehearsal was going to run late. I'll have to go fairly quickly after Blaine's audition." She told them as they took their seats. Sam opened his mouth to respond but Blaine appeared on stage and they focused their attention on him.

     "Good afternoon Mr. Anderson. What do you have for me today?"

     "Good afternoon Mme. Tibidaux. I went through a difficult time at the beginning of this school year. I'm honestly not sure I would have made it through if it wasn't for those three people sitting at the back of the auditorium. This song was inspired by them and expresses what I want them to know." He sat down at the piano to play. When he began to sing his voice was stronger and clearer than they'd ever heard it.

When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart  
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you  
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold  
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone

When you feel all alone  
And a loyal friend is hard to find  
You're caught in a one way street  
With the monsters in your head  
When hopes and dreams are far away and  
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain  
And when it's over you'll breathe again  
You'll breathe again

When you feel all alone  
And the world has turned its back on you  
Give me a moment please  
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call  
If you jump I'll break your fall  
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night  
If you need to fall apart  
I can mend a broken heart  
If you need to crash then crash and burn  
You're not alone

     The last notes from the piano faded out and Blaine took a deep breath. He stood up and walked back to center stage. Sam, Tina, and Charlie held their breaths as Mme. Tibidaux stood up and approached the stage.

     "That was very good Mr. Anderson. I'm very impressed. Do you play any other instruments?"

     A wide smile split Blaine's face at the older woman's compliment. "Yes, Ma'am, several. Guitar, drums, violin, cello, harmonica, and mandolin, but piano and guitar are my best instruments."

     "Very impressive. You know, NYADA has an extension program with the N.Y. Conservatory. If you're accepted, it's a program you may wish to look into."

     "Yes, ma'am. Thank You."

     "Thank you, Mr. Anderson. We'll be in touch, and with you as well Miss Brandon."

     "Thank you." Blaine said as he walked off the stage.

     The other three students excitedly ran backstage and engulfed Blaine in a messy group hug.

     "Oh, my god, Blaine. That was amazing."

     "So good Blaine, you've never sounded better."

     The teens hugged in a mass of bubbly, excited energy. Eventually they were forced to separate due to lack of oxygen.

     "Charlie, I wasn't expecting you to be here. I thought your father wanted you home."

     "I called and told him that rehearsal was running over. There was no way in hell that I would miss this. You were the first person I called after my own audition. I know you would have been there if you could." She looked down at her watch. "Actually, I should be leaving if I want to make it home without getting into trouble."

     Blaine threw his arms around her tight for a moment. "Thanks so much for being here. I know it was a risk."

     She squeezed him just as tight. "You're worth the risk." She leaned in further and whispered, "I'll come by tonight. See what kind of celebration we can come up with."

     A small shudder of anticipation ran through him. He was still having fabulous flashbacks of their first experiment. "I can't wait."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song used in this chapter is Crash and Burn by Savage Garden.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not as happy with the end of this chapter as I'd like but it wouldn't go where I wanted it. I just decided to stop fighting with it. Hope you enjoy it.

**Later that night, Blaine's room.**

     Blaine was laying in bed that night thinking over the days events. He'd had fun with Tina and Sam but the entire evening all he'd been able to think about was how much more fun it would have been if Charlie was with them.

     Now, laying here, waiting for Charlie to arrive he thought back on the last few weeks. They hadn't progressed past the shirtless rutting but it was fairly awesome.  
Now he was laying here wondering what Charlie had in mind. He could tell from the tone in her voice earlier that she wanted something new. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard the fumbling at his window.

     "You know, a gentleman would offer a lady a hand."

     With a laugh he sprang from his bed to help her in. "You know, my parents are rarely home. You could, I don't know, use the front door like a normal person."

     "Bah. Normal's boring." She laughed as she led Blaine back to his bed.

     He followed easily, laughing with her. "Someone's eager tonight."

     "Oh, shut it." Charlie laughed as she pulled him around and pushed him down onto the bed. "There's something I want to try. I'm a little nervous so just bear with me."

     "Alright, what do you want me to do."

     "Just...get naked and let me explore at my own pace."

     "Okay." He took a deep breath as he took off his clothes and lay back on his bed and watched as Charlie shyly took her own off.

     She looked up and smiled at him and made her way over to the bed. Blaine's breath hitched, caught off guard by her unconscious seduction. He could already feel his cock hardening.

     "Wow, Charlie. You're beautiful. You have a beautiful body."

     Her cheeks colored slightly. "You too." Her eyes traveled down his body, focusing on his semi-erect cock.

     Blaine looked her over himself, feeling slightly uncomfortable under her gaze. He cleared his throat. " So is this the plan for the night?"

     Charlie shook herself and blushed even deeper. "Sorry. I've just never seen a naked man before. You're...bigger than I was expecting."

     "Really?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.

     "I just mean... with your build I wasn't expecting...I'm not explaining this properly."

     "Well, I've never been what anyone expected me to be."

     "Sorry. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. And to answer your earlier question, No, staring at you was not the plan."

     "I'm not uncomfortable. Being told my dick is big is a compliment." He smirked at her. "And don't worry about getting distracted. I was a bit lost in thought myself. I've never seen a live naked woman before either." He held out his hand to her and she took it and came to the bed.

     Charlie lay down next to him and began stroking his chest, fingers tangling in the hair. He stroked her forearm and relaxed into her touch. She looked into his eyes. "You were amazing today, Blaine. I don't think You've ever sounded better. They'd be fools not to accept to you. And the song, you nearly had me in tears. I know Sam was sniffling a bit."

     "Thanks, Charlie I meant it you know. No matter what, I'll always be there for you."

     "I know Blaine. The same goes for me."

     She leaned in for a kiss and he met her half-way. Gradually, their kiss became deeper and more desperate. Charlie's hand began wandering down his torso. She attached her lips to his throat and she let out a small whine when his hand found her breast. As her hand wrapped around his erection he threw his head back and released a shuddering groan, "Oh."

 She smirked against his skin as she stroked him more firmly and sucking at his collar bone.

     His breath coming short at her touch. "Charlie, uh, you're gonna leave quite a mark."

     She pulled off of him looking sheepish. "Sorry."

     "I didn't say I minded. I can cover it. It's kinda hot actually." Charlie reattached her lips to the same spot.

     He squirmed under her attentions, her hand felt good but not quite enough. He was unsure what to do. This is Charlie's exploration but he was going to get very frustrated, very fast.

     She mouthed her way up his neck to whisper in his ear. "Tell me what to do Blaine, how to make you feel good."

     He shuddered at the feeling of her breath against his ear. "Nggg, Charlie. A little tighter and faster."

     She tightened her grip and quickened her pace. Her mouth began it's downward descent and licked across one of his nipples.

     "Oh." Blaine arched into her mouth. "Charlie, Your hand feels so good."

     She pressed herself against him and reclaimed his mouth in a heated kiss. He sunk his fingers in her hair, pulling her deeper into the kiss. They kissed for a time Blaine's hips pushing into the tight heat of Charlie's fist.

     "God, Charlie, I'm so close," he panted against her lips. "That feels so god. Just a little faster, please." Charlie increased the pace of her fist on his cock.

     "Let go for me Blaine, I want to see you." Then she bit down on the join of his neck and shoulder.

     With a gasp he came, warm and wet over Charlie's fist. She continued stroking him through it until he had to pull her hand off of him.

     "Sorry, just..., too much."

     "Wow," she was gazing at him with rapt attention."That was amazing. You look so sexy when you climax."

     "It felt pretty damn amazing. Just give me a moment and I'll return the favor."

     She tensed up at his words. "You...You don't have to."

     He rolled to his side, wrapping himself around her. "I know I don't have to Charlie. I want to. I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel. I won't do anything you don't want me to, but I really want to pleasure you. Would you allow me to?"

     They lay in silence for a while, Blaine gently stroking Charlie's soft skin. Charlie gradually relaxed.

     "How do you even know what to do with a girl?"

     "Internet research. It's a great tool if you're willing to put in the time."

     "You really want to touch me like that?"

     "Very much."

     Charlie slowly released a breath. "Alright, I want you to, I'm just afraid."

     Blaine smiled into her skin. "I promise Charlie, if you don't like what I'm doing, I'll stop."

     "Alright."

     Permission given, Blaine pulled Charlie into a searing kiss. They kissed for a time, kisses alternating from passionate to gentle. Charlie relaxed into Blaine as he stroked her skin. She let out a small whimper when his hand made contact with her beast.  
Slowly he made his way down to her throat, sucking and nibbling at the sensitive skin. Her breath caught in her throat when his lips closed around her nipple, tongue flicking over the stiff peak, his fingers tweaking the other. Blaine's free hand came down to gently cup her between her legs and a small whine escaped her lips.

     Encouraged, he moved his mouth to the other breast and brushed his fingers against Charlie's folds.

     When Blaine's exploring fingers brushed against her clit Charlie let out a deep moan.

     With his thumb rubbing circles on her clit Blaine sank one long finger into her moist heat. "God Charlie, you're so wet, and warm."

     "Ung. Blaine. More please." He added a second finger, stroking in and out, thumb pressing more firmly against her clit. "Oh, God, that feels so good. Don't stop."

     "You feel so good around my fingers Charlie."

     Charlie was pushing back against his fingers, trying to get them deeper. "So close."

     Blaine reattached his lips to her throat, working his way up to whisper in her ear. "Let go for me Charlie, I've got you."  
At his words Charlie's inner muscles clenched around his fingers as she came with a cry. He stroked her through it, drawing out the sensations as long as he could. Eventually, her muscles relaxed and he pulled his fingers from her body.

     "Wow, that was awesome. You really are beautiful like that."

     Charlie turned her face to him, smiling. "We so have to do that again."

     He grinned back at her. "I agree wholeheartedly. " His face softened. "Thank you, for what you did earlier, and for trusting me to do the same for you."

     "Thank you, for wanting to and allowing me." She stifled a yawn and giggled. "Does it always feel like this after?"

     "Like what."

     "Sleepy and sort of disconnected. Sort of like I'm looking at everything through a soap bubble."

     "Yeah. Pretty much. Even better sometimes. I swear, there were a couple of times I came so hard I forgot my own name. It was awesome."

     Her face clouded over and she pulled away from him slightly. "I'm sorry that I can't give that to you, Blaine."

     He pulled her closer to himself again. "Hey, don't do that Charlie. Don't start feeling bad because what we have is different than what I've had with others. I love what we have Charlie. What we have is awesome. We're learning about each other together. That's always a good thing."

     She smiled weakly at him. "Alright, I'll try not to feel guilty about things." She yawned again.

     He giggled. "Good. Now I suggest we get some sleep."

     "Sounds good to me." She said as she closed her eyes and began to drift off.  
He pulled the blankets up around them and dropped his arm over her waist. Settling in for a good-night's sleep.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I went back and did some chapter reformatting earlier and I discovered that I had left out like half of Ch. 6. So that has now been addressed. It doesn't actually change anything about the story but it does explain a few things.

    "...But dude seriously, we gotta plan something truely epic for Senior Ditch day. And no offence to Artie, but I doubt his chair would not be an asset at an amusement park."  
    I'm sure we can find something that all five of us will enjoy, Sam. Let's just focus on todays rehersal then maybe we can all go get dinner and talk about it."  
     "Cool. And whose brilliant idea was it to have rehersal on Saturday. I thought we were done with crazy rehersal scheduals when Rachel graduaated."  
    Blaine laughed at Sam's observation. "Yeah, but, maybe if we spend more time prepping we won't be in panic mode right before we perform."  
    "Yeah, maybe, but there's still plenty of other things I'd rather spend my Saturday doing."  
    "I know, me too." His mind drifted away as they entered the chior room and Sam drifted off to talk to Artie.  
    He'd been planning to spend the day with Charlie, her parents were out of town and they'd have the houst to themselves. He had been planning to ask Charlie to go out with him on an actual date.  
    The physical part of their relationship was going well, Charlie had gained confidence in touching him and he'd learned to love touching her. They'd become quite adept at teasing each other, keeping one another on the brink until they were begging. It was kinda awesome.  
    But, hed realized that her really did want more. If he was gonna do this, than he wanted to do it all the way. Having discovered he really liked sex with girls, well at least with Charlie, he wanted to be a boyfriend. He knew they'd have to keep it from her parents to avoid being seperated again, but he was sure enough of his feelings that he wanted to be open about it. There would be a lot of explaining to do, and he knew there were some people who would never accept their relationship. He still didn't really know how to label himself, was he a gay man who happened to fall in love with a woman or was he bisexual, the only thing he was sure of was that he was, in fact, hopelessly in love with one Charolette Brandon. The more he thought about it though, the more he was coming to realize that labeling himself or what he had with Charlie wasn't relly necessary. What they had worked for them and, really, that was all that mattered.  
    His train of thought was derailed when Charlie barreled into the room looking as if she'd run all the way from the parking lot.  
    "Blaine, Blaine. They're here. They came in today's mail. Your mom caught me as I was passing." She held up two envelopes with the NYADA logo in the corner.  
    They stared at the letters in Charlie's hands in silence for a moment before the quiet was by Kitty's strident voice. "Well. Don't keep us in suspense. Did you get in or not?"  
    "Kitty,"  Mr. Shue chastized her. "This is an important moment. Don't butt into it."  
    Blaine looked at their teacher greatfully. "Do you mind if we take a few minutes?"  
    "Of course. Take your time."  
    Blaine grabbed Charlie's hand and pulled her into the hall. Once out of sight of the chior room they stopped to catch their breath.  
    Silently the blond held out his letter and he took it with shaking hands. "This is it Charlie. Our futures. Oh. God. What if neither of us got accepted or worse what if only one of us got in?  
    "Blaine, breathe," she cupped his cheek. "Whatever these letters say, we'll be fine. If neither of us get in then we wait to find out if we got into other schools. NYADA isn't isn't the oly school we both applied to. We've got excellent grades and plenty of extracurriculars, I'm sure we'll be accepted somewhere. And if only one of us gets in... Well, we'll deal with it." She pulled him into a fierce hug. "Even if we end up at different schools, we'll find  way to be togeather. I don't want us to be seperated again either."  
    Blaine released a breath and squeezed her tighter then pulled away. He held her empty hand in his. "Charlie, before we open these I want to ask you something important.  
    "Alright, go ahead."  
    He took a deep breath and looked directly into her eyes. "Would you go on a date with me. Like, a proper date. I love what we've been doing, but I 'd love to try more."  
    Charlie's smile brightened. "Of course, Blaine. I'd love to go on a date with you."  
    He released the breath he'd been holding and grinned. "Yeah? Ok. Great. Awesome." He took another breath to stop the babble. "Let's do this." They both tore open the flaps on their envelopes but hesitatedd to pull out the letters. "On three?" Charlie nodded. "1, 2,3." The pulled the letters out and read them breathlessly.  
They looked up at each other when they were done and answered at the same time. "I got in." The lunged, wrapping each other in a giggly elated hug.  
    Laughing, Blaine said. "Oh my god, we both got in. I am so releaved."  
    "I know, me too. I was petrafied that we'd end up at different schools." The seperated and caught their breath. "Should we head back to the chior room and share the good news?"  
    "Of course, I'm sure they're eagerly awaiting the news."  
    Taking hands again, they walked back to share their good fortune with their friends.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not as happy with this chapter as I could be but it's been so long that I need to write something. It still moves the story along. I'm just not sure if it's as good as it could be.

**That night-Telling Sam**

      Rehearsal was delayed even longer when Blaine and Charlie reentered the Choir room and shared the good news with the others. There had been lots of high pitched squealing from the girls and congratulation hugs all around. After they managed to pull themselves together practice had gone really well, all of them feeding off of their palpable joy.  
       After Mr. Shue had released them for the day, Blaine had pulled Charlie off to the side to tell her that she shouldn't come over that night. Blaine was going to invite Sam for a guys night. Now that she had agreed to go out on a date with him he was fairly certain he would soon be calling her his girlfriend. And, wow, did he never expect tho find himself thinking that. Besides, even if they didn't become an official couple, this was pretty momentous stuff going on in Blaine's life and he didn't feel right keeping it secret from Sam.  
       That was going to be a weird conversation and Charlie showing up unannounced probably wouldn't go over well.  
       Charlie just smiled and told him that she had already asked the girls over for an impromptu slumber party at her place anyway. Sometimes it was scary how in sync their minds were.  
       Now they were back at Blaine's place engaged in an epic Mario Cart battle that Blaine was, of course, losing. His mind was far away, trying to figure out how to broach the subject. When Sam won his 8th straight race he looked at his friend worriedly.  
       "What's up, dude. Usually you're better competition."  
       "Sorry, Sam." Blaine sighed deeply. "It's just... I've got something to tell you and I'm not sure how to do it."  
       "Well, I've always found words are a good way to tell people stuff, but, if you wanna give sign language or interpretative dance a shot I'll try to keep up."  
       The shorter boy let out a snort of laughter at his friend's snark and briefly wondered why all his friends seemed to be so wonderfully smart mouthed. He took a deep breath and turned to face Sam.  
       "Alright. I've sort of been seeing someone for the last few weeks. It's been kind of amazing."  
       "Blaine, that's awesome. I thought you might be, you've been a lot happier lately. But why didn't you say anything sooner? Who is he?"  
       "Well, that's the thing. It's...the thing is...the person I'm seeing. Well, the relationship is a bit unconventional."  
       "Okay. So details, dude. How'd you meet, what's he like? All the goods."  
       Blaine took another deep breath and let it out slowly. "It's not a he actually, it's a she."  
       Sam's eyes opened comically wide, and then he sat there just blinking at Blaine for a moment or two too long before he spoke. "I don't understand, I thought you were like, totally gay."  
       "Yeah, well, no one was more surprised than me."  
       Sam nodded. "Yeah, but now, you're suddenly bisexual. Is that even possible. Because if this is just some weird attempt to get over Kurt..."  
       Blaine interrupted his rush of words. "First off, I am totally over Kurt. I have been for a while. Secondly, I'm trying not to put labels on myself or others these days. I just know that I've fallen head over heels for her and it feels so very right."  
       "That's great, dude, but romantic feelings and sexual attraction aren't the same thing. I mean, what if when the time comes you can't... perform?"  
       "So not a problem. We've actually already been there and...wow. What Charlie and I have is...well, it transcends labels."  
       Sam just stared at him, dumbstruck. "Charlie...you're messing around with Charlie. She's like, your best friend, dude. That can't be right. Are you sure you're not just feeling, like, confused and lonely."  
Blaine had to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his friend. He took another deep breath and let it out slowly, he knew Sam might react like this.  
       "No. Sam. Look, I've thought a lot about my motivations. I figured it out before I got into thing with Charlie. At least, mostly figured out. I would never want to hurt her like that."  
       "But what if you find out that you don't really want to be with her in the long term?"  
       "We're young Sam. Even if Charlie was a boy there would be no guarantee that we'd stay together. And if it comes to that then we'll talk about it. We're good at talking. But I can't see that happening."  
       Sam took in the besotted look on his friends face and softened. "You really like her don't you?"  
       The smile that appeared on Blaine's face was so wide it had to hurt. "You have no idea, Sam. I am totally in love with her. I asked her to go on a date with me. I'd really like to be her boyfriend, if she'd want that. I guess that's something else we need to talk about."  
       Blaine watched Sam as he contemplated everything Blaine had told him, his anxiety level growing higher with every minute Sam was silent. When Sam spoke Blaine actually held his breath. "Look, Blaine. You're my best friend and I love you. I just want you to be happy, so if Charlie makes you happy than I'm good. Just look out for yourself, alright. Oh, and keep in mind, I like Charlie, too. So if you break her heart. You and me are gonna have words."  
       Blaine nearly collapsed in relief as he started to breath again. "thank you, Sam. You have no idea how relieved I am that you're okay with this."  
       Sam gave him a confused look. "Why wouldn't I be okay with it. Who you love is your business. I mean, the rest of the world might not see it that way but it's true."  
       Blaine just snorted. "The last time I tried to talk to a friend about the idea that I might be something other than gay, Kurt kinda lost it." Blaine gave Sam a rueful smile. "I mean, I understand now why he got so upset, but at the time I was really angry with him. This whole thing with Charlie, it's not the first time I've felt...something for a girl. Once I started dating Kurt it didn't really matter. Now though, I've just decided that, although people may like to slap labels on everyone, Charlie and I don't need one. What we have works for us and that's all that matters."  
       "Totally, dude. It's nobody's business to tell you who to love. Have you told your parents yet?"  
       "No. I've been putting it off. I mean, it was rough for them to adjust when I told them I was gay, but they got there in the end. Now, dropping all this on them. They're probably going to be angry and confused for a while. At least they like Charlie."  
       Sam huffed a laugh. "That's nothing. Tina is going to destroy you, possibly Charlie too. I mean, she's doing better with her crush lately, but...wow... when she finds out."  
       "I know this is going to hurt her, and I'm sorry for that, but I can't help the way I feel any more than she can help her crush on me."  
       "I get it. I just hope she leaves enough pieces for a decent funeral." At that both boys burst out laughing. They spent the rest to the night playing video games and geeking out over superhero movies.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not really happy with the ending of this chapter but I just couldn't find another place to end it. I'm pretty happy with the rest of it though.

The Next Day- Telling Tina

   After his conversation with Sam went so well that Blaine had decided to ask Tina to get coffee with him the next morning. He was going out with Charlie tonight and he didn't want his impending conversation with Tina looming over his head, and besides, if things went bad with Tina, at least he'd get some comfort from Charlie tonight.  
    They were sitting at a table giggling madly. Blaine teasing her, trying to goad her into telling him about what the girls had gotten up to at their slumber party the night before.  
    "Not a chance, Anderson. What happens at a slumber party stays at the slumber party. Kinda like Vegas. If you weren't there you can't know."  
    "So, makeovers and talking about boys is top secret now?"  
    "Wow, way to stereotype, Blaine."  
    He grinned at her sheepishly. "Sorry. I'm glad everyone gets along with Charlie. She's very important to me."  
    "I know she is Blaine, and, really, she's not hard to like. Plus, she gives us all the juicy Little Blaine stories."  
    "Super." He was stalling and he knew it. This was a conversation they had to have but it was going to be very awkward and could potentially destroy their friendship and that's something Blaine really didn't want.  
    "Are you OK Blainy Days?" She asked, startling him out of his thoughts. " You kind of went away for a bit there."  
    "Sorry, Tay Tay. I didn't mean to zone out on you."  
    "It's OK, but if you've got something on your mind I'm here to listen."  
    He smiled at her and took her hands. "Thanks, I do have something I need to tell you before you hear it through the McKinley rumor mill."  
    "Okay, Blaine. Whatever it is sounds serious, so, I'm listening."  
    He took a deep, deep breath. "This is hard so I'm just gonna come right out and say it. Before I tell you, though, I need you to understand that none of this was meant to hurt you."  
    "Alright, now you're scaring me B. It sounds like you're trying to tell me that you're dating Sam or something."  
    He chuckled ruefully. "Not Sam, no. But I am seeing someone and I really don't want it to hurt your feelings."  
    "Why would you having a new boyfriend hurt my feelings? I'm over my crush."  
    "I'm very glad to hear that." He took another audible breath. "Tina, I'm not seeing a boy. I'm dating a girl, well, sort of dating. We're going on our first official date tonight." A brief look of hurt passed over her face as Blaine continued. "I was really confused about these feelings myself, but then I thought, I owe it to myself to explore them rather than spend my life wondering if I'd missed out on something."  
    "I guess i can understand that, but I can't help feeling a little sad that I'm not special enough."  
    "Oh, Tina. You are so special to me. Your friendship means so much to me, but...I can't choose who I'm attracted to."  
    "I know, I get it," she sighed. "So, is she someone I know?"  
    "Yeah, actually. It's Charlie, and before you ask, I've already been through all the questions about confusing my friendship love with romantic love and all that. Sam kinda grilled me about it all last night. The truth is I'm really not confused, not any more. I'm in love with Charlie. I know everyone is going to have something to say about it. Most of it negative probably, but I'm done worrying about other peoples opinions. If they can't accept our relationship then that's their problem and we don't need them in our lives."  
    Tina just sat there blinking at him. "Wow, got a little repressed anger to vent there, Blainy?"  
    "Oh, my god. I'm so sorry Tina. I shouldn't have gotten so worked up. But, yeah, I do have some anger issues. I am just so tired of dealing with judgmental assholes. But none of that is your fault." He looked up at her and held her gaze. "Are you gonna with all of this? I'll understand if you need some time to adjust, and if you'd rather not see her and I together."  
    She took a deep breath and covered Blaine's hand's, where they were resting on the table, with her own. "That's sweet Blaine, and I'm touched that you're concerned for my feelings. But, no. You shouldn't have to hide yourself away from anyone, especially your friends. I can't promise that it won't hurt to see you two together, or that I won't be a bit jealous. But I promise that I will try my best not to take it out on anyone else."  
    Blaine blew out a long breath. "You're amazing, Tina. I so didn't want you to be hurt by all of this, but I know we can't control human nature."  
     "No, but we can control how we react to the feelings it inspires. I will try, Blaine, I promise."  
    "I know, Tina and I do love you, your friendship means so much to me. I couldn't breathe from the fear that you wouldn't want to be friends anymore."  
    "Awww, Blainy. That would never happen. I may be a little distant at times, but I promise I will never stop being your friend, or Charlie's. I love you both too much for that to happen. I just need some time."  
    "I understand and I will try not to take any distance personally."  
He got up and walked around the table and pulled her to her feet, hugging her hard.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I'm not as happy with this chapter as I could be. It moves the story along and reveals some information about the past.

The Big Date

     Dammit! This shouldn't be so difficult. He's known Charlie since they were 5 years old. They've never not been able to find something to talk about. But now , they're just sitting here, awkwardly. What was happening, silences between them were never awkward. He's fiddling with his silverware when Charlie lets out a snort of laughter. He looked up at her, startled.  
      "I'm sorry," she says. Fighting back her giggles. "I'm so sorry. This is just so...awful. I don't remember the last time that I've felt so awkward."  
      Blaine sighed but quickly began to giggle with her. "I know. I'm sorry, I just wanted this to be a good night for you. Wanted to prove that I could..." He quieted quickly. No need to tell her everything now.  
      She stopped giggling when he quieted so abruptly. She opened her mouth to ask him to finish that statement but was interrupted by the server to take their order.  
      Once the server had left, Blaine spoke quickly to avoid the question that he knew Charlie was going to ask. "I hope the food is good. I've never actually eaten here before. It's usually pizza or Breradstix when I go out with the others, and Kurt was a fan of French food. But I've always wanted to try this place and I know you love Greek food."  
      "I'm sure it will be fine, Blaine. You don't have to try so hard. I mean, this is the middle of Ohio so they can be forgiven if the food isn't as good as it was in Greece."  
      "That must have been amazing. An entire month in a villa on Santorini."  
      "It was. One of the few upsides of living amongst the entitled elite. Fabulous holidays in exotic locations."  
      "Entitled elite? You weren't exactly there on scholarship, darling."  
      "Oh, I'm well aware that both of us fall into the elite category..."  
      "You maybe," He interrupted. "I fall more into the...privileged category."  
      "Alright, but neither one of us could ever be considered entitled."  
      "True." Their food arrived then and they chatted easily through their meal their nervous giggles having relieved the earlier awkwardness.  
      After dinner they took a walk in a near-by park, enjoying the early spring air. Charlie reached out tentatively to take his hand. A small smile broke across his face as he tangled his fingers with hers. They walked together in comfortable silence.  
      Charlie let go of him to sit on the swings. She rocked back and forth, obviously lost in thought.  
      "Blaine," she asked, looking up at him. "Before...in the restaurant...you were saying something about trying to prove something...what were you trying to prove?"  
      He looked down sheepishly. "It doesn't matter Charlie. It wasn't anything important."  
      "It seemed pretty important, you seemed quite upset about it. Whatever it is you can tell me. Were you trying to prove that..." She took a deep breath tears forming in her blue eyes, "to prove that you can date a girl?"  
      He looked back at her, horror written on his face. "Oh, my god, no, Charlie. That's not it at all. Guy or girl a date is pretty much the same. I was just," he took a deep breath, trying to collect his jumbled thoughts. "I wanted to take you to a nice restaurant, use my best manners, dazzle you with witty conversation. I wanted to show you that...," Taking a deep breath he met her shimmering eyes. "I wanted to show you that I could be a good boyfriend. So that maybe...maybe you would want to be my girlfriend."  
      The look on her face was a mixture of delight and confusion.  
      "You don't need to prove that to me,...."  
      "Charlie," he interrupted her. "I really care about you, and I know a relationship wasn't part of the plan, but I would really like for us to be a couple." Charlie's eyes were swimming with tears at this point. He pulled her in to a hug, fearing that he'd said something wrong. "Please, Charlie, don't cry. It's okay if you don't feel the same way. Just please don't be sad."  
      She shuddered against him, sobs racking her body. He held her tightly, offering the only comfort he could. Eventually, her tears stopped and she pulled out of his embrace, trying to compose herself.  
      "I'm sorry, Blaine. I didn't mean to blubber all over you. That's very attractive." She took a deep, cleansing breath, looking up at him. "Please don't look at me like that. I wasn't crying because I was unhappy or don't feel the same way, I do. I was crying because I was overcome. Blaine, I have been in love with you for so long that...that I don't even remember a time when I wasn't."  
      "We were 14 when I got sent away. I was in a different country and You were sure that you were gay. I accepted that I could never have you the way I wanted, so I tried to move on. That's part of the reason why I agreed to your proposal. It was selfish, I know and I'm so sorry. I really do want to get better, to be able to trust again. But I never thought you'd want me like that. I thought that if I could have you for just a little while it would make it easier when I finally had to let you go. Then you say that you want to be my boyfriend, that I can finally have what I wished for for years. Suddenly I was overcome with guilt. Please, don't be angry with me."  
      Blaine was taken aback by her confession. Never imagining that the girl he'd fallen so hard for felt the same as him. " don't be sorry. I was being kind of selfish too, if you recall. I was using your desire to stop being afraid of intimacy to explore my own sexuality. That wasn't fair to you. We probably should have talked about things a bit more before we started this. But, I'm not mad, I'm kinda flabbergasted. I never had any idea that you felt that way, and I'm really glad that you do."  
      She smiled at him. "You weren't supposed to know. I never wanted you to be uncomfortable. Oh, and, in case you hadn't already figured it out, I'd love to be your girlfriend."  
      He smiled brightly. "I'm very happy to hear that." He pulled her into a kiss, the most passionate they'd yet shared. Eventually, the need for oxygen became a genuine issue, they pulled apart, resting there foreheads together. "I am so in love with you, Charlie. I hope you know that."  
      "I do. And I am so in love with you, too."


End file.
